Charlie O'Brien blog: My 16 week scan and gender selection

by Charlie O'Brien

This week I went with my little family to a private gender scan. From 16 weeks they are able to look at baby's 'nub' and tell you if you're expecting a boy or a girl – which is quite frankly mind blowing.

It's funny - when I was pregnant with Noah, as parents to be we were both dead set against finding out the sex. We were 'team yellow' until the moment he was born and

really enjoyed the element of surprise.

But we always knew that if we had another baby we'd like to find out the sex. And it wasn't so I could buy pink or blue clothes or paint a nursery (I don't really subscribe to all that anyway) it was simply because I wanted to experience a bit of a different pregnancy.

The scan was absolutely wonderful. In fact it was the first scan I've had where I didn't feel stressed and panicky about what they might tell me. The staff were lovely and it felt like a huge treat and a chance to bond with our baby as it was up on the massive screens.

We were told the sex, but haven't actually told anyone yet so won't be revealing it here just yet, sorry!

Because this is our last pregnancy and we want to celebrate it as much as we can we will be doing a little gender reveal to our family this weekend and making a video to share afterwards.

To some this is a bit extreme (I'm sure I thought so in the past!) but for us it's a chance to celebrate a healthy pregnancy and document all the special times. One thing I cannot get onboard with however, is gender selection.

Of course there are exceptions. I think it's s different if a family need a particular gender to help save a sibling with a life-threatening condition. Equally if a certain sex in a family carries a condition or illness, I do completely understand the need for gender selection.

But choosing your child's gender purely based on preference? No.

This came up in the news this week as Danielle Lloyd found out she was having

her fourth boy live on ITV's Loose Women. If you don't know who Danielle Lloyd

is – let me fill you in (Thanks Wikipedia!) She is a glamour model who married a

footballer, appeared in lots of reality shows, left footballer and is now pregnant

with someone else - Michael O’Neill.

According to media sources her fiancé is now researching gender selection options for the future because 'Michael wants another baby, but I wouldn't t risk another boy'.

I get that gender disappointment is a real thing – and it's something that I've led

open discussions on with Channel Mum but a baby is a blessing – boy or girl. I truly believe that. And whilst science and medicine can help us in terms of illness I don't believe at all that it should be used to 'play God' to this extent, simply to fulfil our own vanities.

I was more than happy to have either sex for my second child and was just relieved to have been able to carry the pregnancy beyond 12 weeks.