Baby Loss Awareness Week 2016: Charlie O'Brien blog

Every year – Baby Loss Awareness Week is held in early October. It’s a time for various charities to spread information and support about the issues surrounding miscarriage and stillbirth.

These charities also encourage something called A Wave Of Light at the end of the event to remember all the babies and pregnancies lost. A Wave Of Light is on Saturday, October 15.

If you’re scrolling through Facebook next week and see someone who has lit a virtual candle or posted a picture - please be understanding and patient. Perhaps leave them a little supportive message underneath their post.

It must be difficult to understand the significance of the week if your life hasn’t been affected by baby loss. But if it has, like mine, then something as small as a picture of a candle has meaning.

I lost two babies before having my son Noah arrive. We experienced two incredibly painful missed miscarriages and subsequent fertility problems that turned our life upside down.

Describing the emotions attached to the loss of a pregnancy is virtually impossible.

'There are no photos, no real memories but the emotional pain can be extreme'

There is nothing tangible to hold on to, to grieve over. There are no photos, no real memories but the emotional pain can be extreme.

Quite often a miscarriage is shrouded in secrecy with family, friends and colleagues not even knowing the woman has been pregnant.

I chose to publically write about my journey which definitely helped the healing process and hundreds of women (and some men) have contacted me over the last couple of years seeking support.

But not everyone is able to speak out it openly – for fear of judgement or embarrassment. Miscarriage and baby loss should not be a taboo.

It is estimated that one in four known pregnancies end in miscarriage and many occur before the woman even knows she is pregnant. This means it is incredibly common.

So let’s all be aware next week during baby loss awareness week. It’s a time to talk, to open up. It’s a time to give someone a hug if you know or suspect they’ve been through it.

It’s also a good time to donate some money to the charities that work tirelessly to fund research into miscarriage and stillbirth.

Instead of presents at our recent wedding – we asked for donations to Tommy’s. You can donate here

For advice and support go to www.tommys.org

You can also go to www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk or www.uk-sands.org

To read more about Charlie’s personal story go to to her personal blog