Charlie O'Brien blog: 10 things all new parents do
Seven weeks into becoming a mum to two children – I think I’m pretty much living every parent cliché in the book.
And when I share my life and experiences on social media everyone tends to agree!
So in the interests of parent solidarity – here's my list of the 10 things all new parents do!
1. Shower in 30 seconds. The minute I get in the shower I hear phantom cries or demands from my toddler. (OK, the cries and demands are often real too.) Which means long hot showers or relaxing baths are very much a thing of the past.
2. Argue over who is more tired. My husband and I promised each other we wouldn’t do this again. If only he’d accept it’s ME that’s more tired the arguments would stop!
3. Sway. The natural thing to do when you’ve got a baby in your arms is sway. So why do we still find ourselves doing it when the baby went to bed two hours ago?
4. Leave the fridge door open. I can only put this down to sleep deprivation, but it’s getting beyond a joke. The yoghurts are getting really cheesed off. Literally.
5. Barter over sleep. Every night our conversations at 1am, 3am and 5am go something like this...
“If I feed her can you burp her?”
“Yes but if I burp her will yousort the toddler at 6.30am?”
“Deal – but if I get up with the toddler at 6.30am, do breakfast and put up with five episodes of Peppa Pig, I get to go back to bed at 8am. OK?”
6. Forget about the dog. Poor dog. No need to call the RSPCA, she’s still fed and walked every day, but cuddles might be slightly lacking. Bless her.
7. Send messages about poo. Shameful, but true. (The baby’s poo, just to be clear.)
8. Eat one handed. This is a real parent skill. Although I did drop some lentils on my baby Luna earlier.
9. Buy things at 3am. Nothing says sleep deprivation quite like a pile of brown boxes from a well known online retailer containing items that promise to make your baby sleep.
10. Fantasize about sleep. Forget sex, all new parent fantasies are based around sleep. When can I next get it? How long will it be? Can I sneak off and get some without anyone knowing? Oh my God I miss sleep.