Charlie O'Brien: Embrace your own choices
I found myself in a bit of a ‘discussion’ on my Facebook page earlier this week.
I shared an article about ‘stay-at-home-mum depression’, which provided stats about how mums at home are more likely to suffer depression than working mums.
As a work-from-home-mum it really resonated with me and I wrote a bit before the article on my page about how being at home can be very lonely and how sometimes it feels as though the world has forgotten about you.
These are my own personal feelings and I didn’t think there would be a problem sharing them.
However fairly quickly a woman responded with a very defensive comment along the lines of “what about us working mums, we have it hard too you know”.
And this, my friends, is when I really hate the internet.
Since writing parenting-related blogs over the last two years this has happened to me so many times.
Two other examples that stand out (because they were UTTERLY LUDICROUS) were;
* The time I wrote a blog titled “10 things I’ve learned about motherhood”
And a man angrily responded – “What about dads? Why is this writer just talking about mums? We exist too you know!”
I gently explained to him that the reason I used the term ‘motherhood’ in my post is because I AM A FLIPPING MOTHER! Bangs head on desk.
I will never ever ever be a father (as much as it would be fun to try) therefore I can only write about motherhood.
* Another time I wrote a post to be helpful called something like “10 useful breastfeeding tips” …
Oh, my, God. You’d think I’d written “10 useful tips about leaving your toddler home alone with an assortment of naked flames” judging by some of the comments.
Women who got themselves all angry because they hadn’t breastfed and therefore felt that no one should ever write about it ever again. Ever. Even if it was a kind, empathetic post that even discussed how formula was a lifesaver for my family in the early days.
My point is – there is way too much of this on the internet, especially when it comes to parenting. And it mostly comes from a place of parental guilt, that results in parents exploding their deep-rooted guilty feelings all over either an unsuspecting writer or another parent.
To me – it’s simple.
If you choose to formula feed – be happy in that choice.
If you choose to co-sleep with your child until they’re 10 – be confident in that decision.
If you decide to go back to work – that’s great. Celebrate it and don’t see stay-at-home-mothers, or people who discuss staying at home as the enemy.
My list could go on, but I think you catch my drift.
Embrace your choices.
As long as your children are cared for and loved, you’re doing a great job. There is no need to undermine others and their feelings and choices just because they differ to yours.
Charlie
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