Charlie O'Brien blog: Avoiding sleepless nights with a two-year-old

One of the truest things about parenting is that EVERYTHING is a phase. The bad bits and unfortunately, the good.

Noah didn’t sleep through the night until he was about 15 months. To be honest everyone else seemed more bothered about it than us. We knew he’d do it in his own time and we carried on taking advice from sleep and gentle parenting guru, Sarah Ockwell Smith.

But when he started sleeping 12/13 hour stretches without a murmur, and settling himself to sleep (and naps) like a dream – we realised what we’d been missing.

My husband and I got a little bit of our lives back. We started getting eight hours sleep again and remembering how beautiful that can be! We also started enjoying the evenings again – staying up late drinking wine and watching boxsets.

And it’s funny how quickly you get used to getting a full night’s sleep and how painful it is when suddenly – IT STOPS.

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Yep – we appear to be in the vice like grip of the two-year sleep regression – the one that people say is by far the worst.

He definitely went through the four-month regression, which is common as it’s when a baby’s sleep patterns change from that of a newborn to the patterns they’ll essentially keep for life. It was tough – especially the week when he chose to wake eight times a night and my husband was off working in Florida.

But at least a four-month-old can’t throw tantrums and make decisions – a two-year-old can.

Noah’s gone from loving his bed with his Thomas Tank Engine and Paw Patrol duvet covers to hating it. He gets distressed when he knows bedtime is coming and tries every distraction technique in the book.

He’s also gone back to waking in the night. So what are we doing to solve this I hear you ask?

Controlled crying? Being firm? Letting him scream?

Nope – we’ve gone back to ‘making a rod for our own backs’, letting him win and breaking all the rules in the Western parenting books.

'At least four people told me that the only way is controlled crying. For us – it isn’t the only way'

We’ve let him back in our bed when he asks, and we’re all happier that way.

I mentioned this on my Facebook page the other day and at least four people told me that the only way is controlled crying. For us – it isn’t the only way.

Our parenting instincts are telling us that he needs more emotional support right now, so that’s what he’s getting. We have a superking bed and it means that we all get a good night’s sleep.

I know this is only another phase. He won’t still be in our bed when he’s 17 and I’m confident he’ll grow up happy and well adjusted. Even if his parents are weird hippy freaks!

Charlie x

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