Charlie O'Brien: Addis survey - 50 forgotten skills that mums are not passing on to children

I have actually found THE most patronising, sexist, outdated and annoying thing on the internet.

No – it’s not Piers Morgan. (Close second.) Or his mate Trump.

And it’s not another so called parenting expert telling us how we shouldraise our babies.

50 forgotten skills mums are too busy to teach Read the original story

But an incredible (please sense my sarcasm) list produced by Addis Housewares of 50 forgotten skills that us MUMS are not passing on to our children.

No mention of dads. Because they just supply the sperm then go out and hunt for meat.

My Kent Family printed this list earlier in the week and it had some interesting reactions from you! So – if you’re interested here is the list again – with MY thoughts next to each point!

Enjoy.

1. Darning socks – Really not required in 2017. It’s probably cheaper to buy a new pair in Primark. (I just looked – you can get a pair for £0.40 – point made.)

2. Patching trousers or jeans – It’s not the 1980s. Patches are not cool. Ever.

3. How to darn a woollen jumper. Again, Primark.

4. Re-heeling shoes – a shoe heelers place?! Where you can also get a trophy engraved if you should desire.

5. How to polish brass and silverware – I’m 35 and have never owned brass or silverware. My cutlery is from Ikea and the only person in my family to own anything like this is my nan who’s 89.

6. How to recycle soaps – What?!?

7. Letter writing – I agree with this one to an extent. The art of letter writing is being lost. I love a letter. But the reality is life moves on and things change.

8. Making jam/marmalade – I made chutney at Christmas, does this count?

9. Handwashing clothes – This really isn’t the hardest skill in the world to acquire. I’m sure someone could work this one out without a lesson from a parent in childhood.

10. Crocheting – Cool if you fancy it as a hobby but otherwise unnecessary.

11. Making chutney – YES! I’ve achieved something on this stupid list! (See no.8)

12. Knitting – Again, lovely if it appeals to you but we get by fine without it.

13. How to hem a dress – Wonderweb.

14. Sewing buttons – Easy peasy, Youtube it - 761,367 have watched this lady!

15. Making a trifle – Fruit, cream, lady fingers, sherry, a load more cream. More sherry for nan. Work in layers. There you go – I’ve done it for you.

16. Making homemade ice lollies – Um, this is just insulting.

17. Descaling a kettle – Descaling kit from Tesco. Thank me later.

18. Sewing – The lady on Youtube who just showed us how to sew a button has loads more handy hints if your heart desires!

19. Making a white sauce – Really makes your arm ache and has a tendency to go lumpy if you don’t flipping stir quickly enough. I’m off to Tesco again.

20. Storing winter/summer clothes away properly – Really? This list is just getting PEDANTIC.

21. Making dough and pastry – I know plenty of people who make their own dough and pastry (even me occasionally.) But again – Tesco. Puff, ready rolled, filo, shortcrust. It’s all there and the time you save making it can be spent drinking prosecco with your guests and having a jolly old time.

22. Handwriting – Pretty sure all kids are still taught how to write?

23. How to recycle vintage furniture – I think the term is ‘upcycling’ darlings and if you type it in the hashtag search box in Instagram you’ll find upcycling is alive, well and actually very fashionable.

24.How to make Yorkshire puddings – My favourite Aunt, Bessie.

25. How to compost – Chuck all your food scraps in a bin and hope the worms find it?

26. Making proper gravy – Again, foodies are RIFE on the internet. People know how to make proper gravy. If they want to.

27. How to skip (a rope) – What are the kids playing in the playground these days? Are ropes banned on healthy and safety grounds? Probably. If so – let’s blame our crazy over protective culture. Not us poor mums. (Not dads, they’re still out hunting.)

28. How to line a cake tin – I DID actually Youtube this the other day. So I’ll give you this one crazy patronising list people. If you're interested you can see how to line a cake tin here

29. Making biscuits – People DO make biscuits arrgghh! They also buy them in delicious multipacks and that’s ok too.

30. How to grow vegetables successfully – Not everyone is green thumbed. I’m currently celebrating keeping an orchid alive for more than two weeks.

31. Baking a cake – Um - The Great British Bake Off is like the most watched TV show EVER. (Until it moves to Channel 4 anyway.)

32. How to spring clean a house – Now you’re really peeing me off.

33. Which season to plant seeds – Google.

34. Fashion tips – Whaaaaattttt??!!!

35. How to clean an oven – Mr Muscle. Loves the jobs we all hate.

36. What certain flowers and plants are – Google, Google, Google. Ask your nan.

37. How to landscape a garden – Pay someone who actually knows a weed from an actual flower.

38. Washing up – I’m losing patience now.

39. How to get stains out of clothes – Vanish. And if we’re talking newborn poo stains – sunshine. In your face.

40. Folding clothes properly – You’re pushing your luck now.

41. Telling when fruit/veg is ripe – Really? Really, honestly and seriously? I wish you could see my face right now.

42. How to wash a car – Go into petrol station. Buy yellow token thing. Make sure wheels are aligned (I didn’t once and it was fairly terrifying) wind up your windows and try not to get too scared.

43. How to get stains out of carpets/furniture – Haven’t I already said Vanish? (They do a carpet / upholstery one too – see I know EVERYTHING.)

44. Writing cards – I think the amount of card shops thriving on the high street would beg to differ that there’s a problem in this area.

45. Applying make-up – Now you’re just being plain rude.

46. Making pancakes – 3 ingredients, pan, heat, eat.

47. How to clean windows – I have a man called Dave.

48. Interior decorating – Again – GO AND LOOK AT INSTAGRAM YOU EEJITS.

49. How to organise/sort the laundry – I’m so fed up with this list I’m almost crying.

50. Ironing clothes – A waste of life. I iron nothing. The key is in the hanging. A skill I WILL be passing on to my children.

Follow Charlie's daily blog here