Charlie O'Brien blog: Is it time for another baby?

by Charlie O'Brien

Earlier this week I found myself asking my 16 month old son if he’d like a little brother or sister.

He looked at me, considered my words for a second then carried on eating crumbs off the floor, shoving his finger up his nose, emptying his sippy cup over my once lovely sofa.

But it hit me that there must be a reason I was asking. Has my maternal instinct finally started to kick back in?!

For a while I thought I was done with one child. It was a fairly stressful journey to have Noah. I had two missed miscarriages a year apart followed by secondary infertility.

In the space of less than two years I had three operations, 25,000 scans and at least 100,000 blood tests. Ok, I exaggerate, but it was pretty full on.

My labour with Noah was then less than pretty.

To cut a long story short (and spare you the mega gory details) he got stuck and after his heart rate dropped dangerously low and the red button was pressed – he need A LOT of help to be born.

My recovery was difficult and emotional and I was severely anaemic for a long time.

So it’s probably no surprise that when people started asking me six months later if I was having another, my natural reaction was to yell ‘no!!’ and then exit the conversation as swiftly as possible.

But something has shifted in the last couple of weeks and I think it has coincided with me stopping breastfeeding.

I’ve felt those familiar pangs of broodiness wash over me when I hear of someone else’s pregnancy news.

I even felt bizarrely maternal when Noah cuddled a grubby and naked doll in a play café the other day. (Maternal and relieved that he didn’t lick it’s face contracting every toddler germ in a 10 mile radius.)

But perhaps deciding to have another at some point wouldn't be the worst idea?

I think I need more than one so I don’t commit myself to a life of playing cars and trains and I can palm the responsibility off onto a sibling instead.